I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
