the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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