Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
