nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
