happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
