I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
