drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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