That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm always down for nudity.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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