it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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