I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
