is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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