Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
