Who wears a wallet chain?!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
