As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
