Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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