I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize