You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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