I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
