Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
