I'm gonna have a badass scar
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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