Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
