I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My life is pants optional.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
