I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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