While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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