I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
