hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
