When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We got so high we made milksteak
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
