ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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