I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
