his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
this will be a night to untag.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
