If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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