oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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