she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
