Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
