were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize