haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
