Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
