One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
