at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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