I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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