You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
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it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
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So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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