I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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