Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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