I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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