Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
