I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
