I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
