I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
