Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
