I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
