pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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