we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
