Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
