What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
