Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize