a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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