I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
