SEEEEXXX PLEASE
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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