Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
