im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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