dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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