ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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