um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
