I'm so fucking centered right now
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
