It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
