Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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