Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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