Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
