she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
